Quality time with your kids:

Like most mum’s I am very busy. I realized that I am struggling to spend time with my son and he is growing up quickly. So, I asked Lene from Meander Kids if I can interview her for my blog, and get some tips and advice on quality time with our kids. Lene has been an Educator or Teacher for 36 years and has so much experience with children.

So, how do we spend quality time with our kids? Lene said that when we think about spending on our kids, we think we should give them something expensive or big to have an impact. But the most important thing we should be doing is the little things. Walking in the park or small conversations, finding and speaking your child’s love language, making eye contact is more important than buying them things or doing exciting things.

Lene thinks that one of the best way’s parents can bond with their children is at the dinner table. When we share our experience with our children, we should say what was great about our day and what was negative about our day. This is how our children learn that we face difficulties too and to set an example of how to deal with the problems. Lene taught me something interesting, our children need to learn how to deal with problems and how to share the good things in life. E.g. We are teaching our children how to self-actualize and how to build momentum when we teach them to share the good things they experience with us and their friends and loved ones. To summarize this, Lene said, we must ask each other about the highs and lows. What will you do when it happens again? If it’s something good, how can you pay it forward or share it with others?

How long is enough Quality time, that would leave your child satisfied and loved but not too long so it will bore them or let them miss out on the “lesson” you learned with them? Lene said that your child’s attention span depends on how old they are. When they are young, maximum 15 minutes of focused attention is the expectancy you as a parent need to connect with your child. In other words. Do you have 15 minutes a day for the most important gift in your life, your children. It is not hours or a whole day. Quality always beats quantity.

Some ideas what we can do in 15 minutes, eat with them, read a bedtime story with them, build a puzzle, color in. Go for a walk. Pick say 3 things per day, and the x3 things will add to 45 minutes that can build lasting memories. It is not the ultimate stretch for a parent who is busy. It is a priority and we don’t have to feel guilty if we can’t do more than this. But I am going to do the right kind of spending on my child.

Every child needs a space where they feel safe, secure and can share their emotions with their parents. So, what does this space typically look like? Lene advised that the parent initiates the space, in other words, it will be wherever the parent is and the child needs it. Where does your child connect and opens to you? This is the space where they will try and connect with you again. Lene said that space depends on the child’s age and personality. Even adults want their alone time. So, we should respect our children’s boundaries when they want to be alone. Certain children are indoors and other outdoors orientated, some children like immediate closeness and some appreciate having a little distance, e.g. Riding their bike outside while mum peers through the window.

It is important for our children to see at a young age that there are friends at school with the same and different households, that different is not negative but positive. My son’s school is an extended part of our family structure. He has his “school mommy’s and brothers and sisters” and he can share with me if he wants to what he enjoyed there. I make sure to treat my Son’s teachers with respect, because they are extremely deserving. They are doing things for my house that I cannot do by myself. I see your child’s school as part of your home because it is part of your child’s life. Don’t wait for teacher appreciation day to tell them how much they mean to you. They are worth to our children more than any money can buy. Your child’s school is an extension of your home and should be treated as such especially when you talk to your child about school.