Re-recognize and Re-need:

I recently turned 30. The 30’s mindset has hit me hard. It’s almost like I am trying to prove to myself that I can still do the things I could do of a few years before. And Yes, I can do them, some things have become more difficult to do, but I noticed that I do those things with more focus, self-control and maturity than before. I noticed how I am more competitive than ever, because I received another gift from God worth fighting for.

That’s right, after years of praying, learning and growing, I finally met someone that is now my boyfriend. Here is the interesting part. I met him when I was ready to admit that as a competitive female I need a man to compliment my life purpose, I can not do everything alone. I need a man. My purpose is not to be a man. Besides it is hard to be a man.

Watch this Video by TD Jakes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ws3GgHnnF8

I learnt from a coach friend just a few months before that most men have a need to provide. Now with further investigation what that means is men want to provide because they want to be appreciated and recognized. In a similar way woman used to want that recognition for her role’s. People think that when we talk about provide in terms of monetary, but it is not only about that. In fact, I have discovered money was in today’s times the last thing we now need from a man.

What can a man provide for a woman in this century? For me it is support, knowing someone can lead me and have the knowledge and skills to assist me in making decisions safely, it is someone who can help me do heavy lifting and someone who brings forth the best in me. Someone who encourages me to be authentic and even vulnerable at times and that this is okay. I don’t mean to step on toes, but really ladies, we win in almost everything we do, and we compete with men while doing it. Thus, our men are no longer getting the recognition they need. It’s time to make your man feel needed again. To confirm this from a biblical viewpoint, ladies why did God tell us to submit, maybe it is because we steal all the recognition and a man needs real sincere recognition (when he earned it of course)- to feel loved. Your words ladies are not enough if your actions work against it.

You see how I discovered this was I asked God for a man in my life because I realized and had to admit I need one. (even though I survived and sometimes thrived without one, I still had a lot of things that was hard to do as a woman, because it is not my natural instinctual role, even though I did it very well and got recognition for it, it sometimes burned me out because it is hard to keep doing). Then God gave me a man... and a man wants to feel needed. So how amazing is that that I had to learn to admit that I need a man for me to find someone who wants to be needed.

To summarize, yay, I got a boyfriend for my 30th birthday and are now on a new journey. Discovering how to remain authentic, grow in myself, and grow in my new role as a girlfriend.

#needs, #Needed, #Provide, #Selfdevelopment, #mindset, #Growth

Keep Improving

The Ameliorate Team