The Person you are Vs. The Person you want to be:

I was a very shy, obedient, withdrawn and even awkward young girl. In my pre-teen stage I decided to change my personae. I loved reading and I threw myself into the stories of others. This is one of the things that made me decide to change. One series I was particularly fond of was “The Babysitters Club” by Ann M Martin.

I also learned about personality types at that time in my life, so it helped me understand the differences between the characters. There was Mary-Anne, I was a lot like her, lacking in confidence, very sensitive and always with my nose in a book. Then there was fun Claudia, which was very authentic and unorganized, but very secure in who she was and my most favorite character was the leader, Kristy. I so admired her because she was entrepreneurial, ambitious, popular and not afraid to say or do what is necessary. I wanted to be like her, I decided to change willfully. I started by forcing myself to become talkative, how I did that was to blurt out the first thing that would pop into my head, which was a very bad habit I created. But doing this made me get the attention I craved, and I learned how to shock or surprise people with my story’s. Unfortunately, I turned into somewhat of a bad listener and weird because of how I communicated which lead back to unpopularity. I turned into an unpopular popular teenager because of the impact of these characters on an awkward young girl. Some of our bad habits stems from a child that needs hope, desires change and wants to be heard. These habits formed a part of who I chose to be, and they are very difficult to unlearn, and to some degree I would not want to give it up completely due to the advantages.

How to connect with your authentic self:

• Enjoy recognition for being unique. Use your unique talents and gifts to benefit other people. Know and understand your unique personality and values. Accept and love your weakness’s

• Learn how to set healthy boundaries. Do things that exhilarate you and bring you joy or peace.

• Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Measure but don’t compare. Don’t compare other people with each other.

How to tap into the person you want to become (role to success):

• Often what you think you are showing, is not what people see, practice by observing others. You become better at adapting to the person you want to be remembered as, if you pick up on people’s ques.

• Choose a theme song/ smell/ pressure point on your body that reminds you of the image you want to portray and use it when you need reminders of the image you want to leave with others.

• Research your ideal life. "If I were a writer, mommy, coach etc., how would I behave?

• We can practice turning our image person into a habit using visualization techniques (in my layman terms- daydreaming). E.g. See yourself as an entrepreneur and you will become it.

My true self, people get to know if they are in my inner circle and my dream self is my persona in my role to success. I touch base with both the person I am and the person I want to become, mixing the traits up as needed. In saying this, I have never been Kristy or even really like her, but I used her image to re-create my own. I am by nature more like Mary Anne and will always be, I have learned to love and accept the fact that I am sensitive and deep. We can use others strengths that we admire to reach our own goals. But we should always be ourselves and thus authentic.

Keep Improving

The Ameliorate Team