The Role to Success- with Zandri Venter

On my Quest to solve a difficult question- how to change our negative core beliefs e.g. Negative self-image, I had the bright idea to interview my Sister- Zandri Venter, (Drama Graduate and now dance academy student at TUT) to hear if it is possible to change your core beliefs by acting. I know- I know, fooling yourself is never a good idea, but if you need to up your confidence or self-image this may be one possible way to achieve this.

The saying goes, we become what we think, so my first Question for Zandri was if the opposite could also be true. If I act/ become something will I think that way? Zandri said she thinks that the statement is true and that the more we lean towards a certain role, the more we speak like that role. Just look at new mothers.

I also read that scientists proved that our emotions can shape our DNA and our reality, if you in-act different positive emotions, can you thus shape your DNA and your reality positively? Zandri answered that it is possible but she thinks it can be dangerous, because if you are led by your emotions, it can take over your entire life. If you consciously choose to enact that emotion, it can become heightened, sometimes it is not the place to have that emotion.

So, what practical things can I do to become an actor in my desired role? (become the best stereo typical bubble gum chewing, nail painting, secretary, or a Pierce Brosnan-type sales person or even Victoria Beckham look alike parent)

· Often what you think you are showing, is not what people see, practice by observing others. You become better at adapting to your role, if you pick up on people’s ques.

· Sometimes we can trick our brain to respond in a habitual way so use association to get into your role. Choose a theme song/ smell/ pressure point on your body for your role. If your role were a piece of music, what would they sound like? Use a new perfume or body spray every time you need to go into the office or be mommy. Use a pressure point for confidence- or power poses, when having to do public speaking or feeling strong. After you've chosen a piece of music, play it just before you go to work or to a client etc.

· Research your ideal life. "If I were a writer, mommy, coach etc., how would I behave?

· Again, we can practice turning our role into a habit using visualisation techniques (in my layman terms- daydreaming) become your character. See yourself in that role’s shoe’s.

Okay, say I get it right, I act a role permanently and become e.g. A great writer, amazing mother, stunning single lady etc. How do I know if that is really who I were supposed to be? Everyone wants to be a millionaire and acting like it might turn you into one, but is that a good or bad thing?

Zandri said she thinks it depends on the person’s motives behind it. You are thinking like a great writer, you have changed your habits to constantly portray that, but you still are inherently a great writer, you are still in control. You won’t be able to do something that goes behind your own beliefs. You can’t portray to be a great writer, if you aren’t a great writer. It is just learning how to navigate being a great writer.

She believes that habits can be good or bad, bad habits leads to your personality getting stuck in one specific role, no matter with who you interact, in other words an overbearing role. Zandri’s advice is to practice taking your different role hats on and off. You should be real with yourself. You are more than just one role. In your day, do something that is not that role. Remain grounded in who you really are.

There is a certain exhilaration when you get a role right, it will suit you better, you will experience joy. Anybody can learn to be any role, but to find joy in that is a key to know if that is really what you are meant to be. You will find many different role’s that would give you joy throughout your life. If you don’t have contact with other roles, you will be stuck in that one role, being secluded and depressed in your heighten role, and that could lead to self-pity and illnesses, you will not be able to enact other role’s.

If you enact a role that doesn’t suit you for a long period of time, it can start a negative cycle. The new unsuitable role can cause a person to lose their centre, who they really are whether it was a conscious decision or not. It causes the person to become disconnected with other role’s and perspective’s. Brutal self-honesty can lead to personality re-centring and new perspectives and new role’s. You must actively choose to work on certain personality traits.

can acting change a person’s subconscious core beliefs. E.g. If I am deep down very insecure, can I act with so much confidence that that belief changes?

Zandri also thinks that people don’t like change or to move out of their comfort Zone. So, what happens when they are faced with a challenge they never faced before? They learn to adapt and create a new branch of their role and personality. That is where they are secure to work from. If they didn’t have that stepping stone there would be nothing to work from.

Once you have branched out your role, you will have a sense of security from which to try new role’s. As you go on through life you create a lot of them. Trauma and victimising leads people to make unhealthy branches or pathways to branch out their role’s (it can even inhibit these branches) They will constantly revert to the place and role’s they felt safe in. In Practice Everything can be a role you can enact. You should still enact the stuff you don’t like, Practice it. Bring new roles into your limited space of your current role’s. Even if you feel insecure you should venture out and reach out.

I loved our talk so much, I had to add some further must reads, this is an awesome article I found on the internet with similar information: http://open.lib.umn.edu/sociology/chapter/5-3-social-interaction-in-everyday-life/