Trigger Happy:

About a year ago I was feeling pretty sure that I solved the subconscious issues I had that lead to me attracting the wrong people into my life and although to date I have not attracted any new person into my life that could cause me to fall into depression or self-doubts due to abuse, I did experience some traumatic events. These events did not shake me completely because I recovered from them quicker. But they did cause some of my own destructive behaviors to trigger back.

I am a trainer and I used to teach people journaling techniques about how we can very basically be therapists for ourselves. But I now decided to write about what we do need therapists, coaches and psychologists for. Apart from the obvious serious mental health disorders (like depression, PTSD, schizophrenia etc), we don’t need these professionals for every emotional problem we face. Our brains really are problem solving machines.

Sometimes after healing from pain (due to our amazing problem-solving machine brains) we get triggered back into old pain and patterns due to trauma or events. This is the major area I recommend talking to a professional about. You should ask them to help you identify all your problems and disorders, then ask for help identifying potential triggers and work out a plan for dealing with and facing these triggers.

Then work on re-healing the pain caused by being triggered. Unfortunately, even if something feels difficult, complicated or painful, it won’t go away on its own. You must work on it, and you must be pro-active. It’s difficult to work through this on your own, even with a good support structure, you would still need to see a professional. You don’t want to backslide, and you don’t want to stay stuck in trigger loops forever. Your brain-Machine will assist a therapist because it is a problem-solving machine.

General ways to identify triggers:

1. Pay attention to your body’s reactions in everyday situations

2. Pay attention to the thoughts you are thinking

3. Ask yourself who or what triggered this response, was it healthy, if not why?

4. What happened or did you notice before you reacted

5. Was any of your boundaries crossed?

6. Was any of your needs not met?

7. Ask yourself why did this trigger me?

What to do when triggered:

1. Accept responsibility for your reactions (if you shouted at someone, apologize)

2. Identify how you are feeling and why, but don’t act on them

3. Choose what you want to feel and what you want to do (not just flowing with your reaction)

4. Become present minded

When you have healed continue with thought journaling and asking questions to yourself about your problems. After all this will also help you track your triggers and see possible ways to work through them. Remember that we don’t want to avoid being triggered, we don’t want to avoid destructive behavior completely. We need to identify, learn and grow from them. Everyone has some form of a problem, disorder or experienced traumas that could lead to patterns of destructive behavior. Some people even hide their obsessions by being obsessed with good and positive things, like blogging, exercising or dieting etc. Those are also an extreme coping mechanism. They don’t need to stop or avoid their obsessions but rather learn to just tone it down or use it correctly. Abuse can also be defined as Abnormal Use. So, anything and everything we use abnormally could be said that we are abusing that thing.

This is also why I believe one should focus on positive thoughts. Even when you analyse something bad about yourself or your situation, always end journal entries, conversations and identifying situations off with a positive statement about yourself or your situation. After evaluating it is important to try to remain present minded. This will help you control your emotions and focus better in order to prevent repeating destructive behavior in real time.

As Always, Keep Improving

The Ameliorate Team

#emotionalintelligence; #triggers; #selfdevelopment; #stress; #ethics